5 Things That Drive Philly Bikers Crazy
My name is Alisha and I’m a Philadelphia biker (two wheels, no motor). Let’s get one thing straight: I love biking in this city. But as any Philadelphia biker will tell you, it ain’t always easy. That’s why I”m debuting The Biking Chronicles: A Series on Biking in the City of Brotherly Love. This monthly series will explore the good, the bad, and the sometimes-complicated relationship our city has with biking.
There’s a lot to love about biking in the city. I love the feeling of air on my skin. I enjoy the smells, even the terrible ones. (With the exception of exhaust. AVOID EXHAUST.)
Riding in the city makes me feel like I’ve been a part of an initiation and I’m here like MOMMA I MADE IT. It makes me feel integrated into the city in a way I never felt with just driving around, avoiding the PPA. (PPA def does not make me feel integrated into the city.)
But of course, with the good, there’s the bad. In this first episode of The Biking Chronicles, I will explore the less-than-awesome things about biking in Philadelphia. Let me be clear though. Bikers: this is not meant to denigrate you for riding, and cars: this does not give you a pass to mock the occasional misfortune of bikers.
Instead, let’s examine the 5 things that make bikers crazy with the thrilling optimistic hope that our collective frustration may cause change.
You with me? Here we go.
5 Things that Drive Philly Bikers Insane
1. Potholes / Sinkholes / Other Inexplicable Rectangles of Missing Road
Now that the long winter is over and I no longer need to worry about wind-drawn tears freezing to my face while I pump my pedals like a mad man, I can go back to enjoying my bike ride.
Ah, spring. The sun, the flowers, the trees! The huge !@#$% potholes!
Are they everywhere? Or is it just me? It seems the snow has left and took a third of the roads. Which would be fine, if there seemed to be an active process of fixing them. But this seems slow and non-existent. I count several of these hazards on my daily commute, and many seem to have been there forever. Are we living in a fool’s paradise waiting for these to be fixed?
Apparently no, if the Philadelphia Streets website is correct. Not only is there a place to report these bad boys, but there’s also information on what might appear to be a pothole, but is a utility ditch or a cave-in and needs to be reported differently. (Truthfully, these other things look just as dangerous. Tomato, tom-ah-to .) According to their website, the turnaround time to fix a pothole is three business days. Say it with me now, report the potholes!
2. Smaller, Seemingly Permanent Missing Segments of Road, Bumps, And Oh God, Trolley Tracks
Small bumps, baby-sized dips, and possibly permanently missing segments of road, these constitute what I refer to as Pothole’s annoying little cousin. You know them, you pass them everyday on your commute. If you’re like me, you forget about them until the last second when they just appear and there’s either quick swerving or slamming of brakes with perhaps an expletive thrown in for good measure.
These are the annoying (but not tire-breaking blips) of your driver friend’s commute, but thudding, tire deflating atrocities of your morning ride. (I’m looking at you, 21st and Market). Don’t get me started on how un-cool this makes an otherwise pleasant night ride.
But nothing, nothing, makes my stomach flip more than the terror of trolley tracks, which should come with their own blinking warning: AVOID! AVOID!
Get your tire stuck in one of these and your world is suddenly, totally rocked (and not in the Jay-and-Bey-possibly-moving-to-Philadelphia way [I don’t care if the rumors aren’t true!]). I mean in the Omigod-no-balance-falling-now way. Remember when your mom put you in gymnastics class, and you were expected to do the cartwheel you’ve perfected on a four-inch balance beam? That’s kind of getting to the fear level.
Best advice? Avoid them if you can. Don’t ride north on 11th Street or you’ll soon find yourself in a tiny space couched between parked cars on your right and tracks on your left (and potholes and road bumps along the way – See #1).
Another thing? Tell your city. Philadelphia is actually making strides on getting rid of unused tracks that do nothing but pose risks to bikers. We’re getting there, guys.
3. Projectile Paper and/or Plastic Things
You don’t have to look far to see that Philly has a plastic bag problem. They’re stuck in sewer grates, attached to barbed wire fences, hanging from trees, floating in the air. For bikers, one strong breeze and they’re wrapped around your arm, leg, flying hazardously into your spokes. I have yet to have one find its way to my face but that sounds terrible and frighteningly possible.
Occasionally napkins find their way to my pedals. One day, I hope to find a note.
Thankfully, it seems we may be slowly ridding ourselves of the worst offenders, one nickel at a time.
4. Other Bikers
I’m not a perfect rider. I wear my helmet (and you should, too!), but occasionally let the blinking light batteries die and procrastinate to buy new ones. I don’t always stop at Stop signs. I forget to signal. I listen to music in one ear. We’re all imperfect.
That said, I have little patience for aggressive bikers. Those who race through red lights without a thought. Those who scare the bejeezus out of pedestrians attempt walking in a crosswalk without a bike taking them out. The ones who ride in the opposite direction in the just-wide-enough bike lanes.
Don’t do this. Any of this. You give us all a bad name and make new bikers nervous. If you’re confused on the laws, the Bicycle Coalition is awesome with this stuff.
One final thing: if I’m riding too slow, pass me on the left, but tell me. We don’t need to engage in small talk; a simple “on your left” will do.
5. The Invisibility Cape
We’re invisible, us bikers. It’s our secret power.
Joking aside, people – drivers, pedestrians, SEPTA – don’t always see us. I recall a particularly frustrating moment when after checking for oncoming cars on a green light, a woman stepped into the street directly in front of me. I asked, “AM I INVISIBLE TO YOU?” (Perhaps in a foul mood that day…)
My conclusion?
Follow the laws, try to stick to bike lanes (unfortunately, a few we share with SEPTA, ahem, Market Street), and stay alert. Use lights when riding at night. Watch for riding in drivers’ blind spots. Don’t try to sneak past a car turning in front of you.
Remember, we’re all in this together. Pretty soon, we won’t be so invisible because thanks to our great city, there’s a lot more of us.
Alisha Ebling is a writer, biker, vegan food consumer, and lover of all things book-related. You can find more of her writing on her website, or follow her @alishakathryn.
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